Are You Ghosting Your Friends Without Realising It?

New research suggests that while more people are celebrating friendships, many are still drifting away from friends once they enter a relationship.

Search trends over the past 12 months show a sharp rise in interest around friendship celebrations. Searches for “Palentine’s Day” have increased by 5,700%, “Galentine’s Day gifts” by 12,900%, and “gifts for my partner on Valentine’s Day” by 9,900%. At the same time, searches for “Friendiversary cards” have risen by 40% since January 2025.

Despite this growing focus on friendships, a new study from greetings card marketplace thortful found that 22% of Brits say their friends stop making an effort once they get into a relationship.

Why friendships still matter

Relationship and dating expert Sophie Personne explained that friendships and romantic relationships serve different roles.

She said: “As long-term friendships are built over time and common interests or values, they create a sense of support, loyalty and stability. Because of that shared history and having often seen each other at their worst, there’s also less pressure. People just know they have someone they can rely on, regardless of what’s going on in their life. That kind of connection reinforces our sense of familiarity, so the longer the friendship, the deeper the bond grows.”

Why people drift apart

Sophie highlighted that time pressures and assumptions are key reasons friendships can fade.

She said: “Time is the obvious challenge, but underneath that is assumption, the belief that friendships will always be there. The two are intrinsically linked. When life gets busy, it becomes easy to put things off, but we all know how that plays out. That’s when people start taking each other for granted.

“Most friendships don’t fall apart because people stop caring but because people stop showing up. The solution isn’t difficult. It’s about making a conscious effort, even if that means scheduling it like a dentist appointment. It doesn’t need to be long or deep, just a quick message, all it needs is to show that we care.”

Small gestures can go a long way

With friendship-focused occasions like Palentine’s and Galentine’s becoming more popular, Sophie said it is important to actively recognise friendships.

She explained: “Friendships don’t have clear milestones like romantic relationships do. It’s sometimes not even that easy to work out when you meet, let alone a specific date. That’s one of the reasons why it’s easier to overlook but also why it’s important to actively acknowledge the role those people play in your life.

“Recognition reinforces the friendship, it makes it visible and shows appreciation. It doesn’t need to be big. A small gesture or simply telling someone what they mean to you is often enough. The issue isn’t that people don’t care, it’s that they don’t always think to show it.”

Balancing love and friendship

Fiona Robinson, 61, from Harrogate, shared her experience of balancing both a long-term marriage and a lifelong friendship. Fiona Robinson has been married for 32 years and has maintained a 55-year friendship with her best friend.

Fiona said: “With friends, it’s important to keep in touch. Time is sometimes against us, so even a quick text can do the trick, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a meet up every time. Show an interest in your friends’ life, whether that’s their family, children, work, any challenges. Ensure a balance is found between being a person to lean on, as well as meeting up and having a laugh whenever you’re both available.”

Speaking about relationships, she added: “When it comes to your partner, showing trust, patience, tolerance, respect and care, emotions on a deeper level to display your appreciation and respect. Keep some independence and separate interests too, as being independent is still important.”

Keeping both relationships strong

Fiona explained that organisation and small reminders can help people stay connected.

She said: “Energy levels change depending on how long you’ve been with someone. It’s a balance and depends on which stage of life you’re at. A lot of messages are on social media as it prompts you, so it’s easy to stay in the loop with certain occasions. Whether you use a diary or take notes in your phone, take a note of specific events that relate to your partner and your friends as a reminder to get in touch and show you’re thinking about them. That way you can keep both separate and easily prompt yourself to communicate.”

Why friendships are still vital

Fiona also highlighted the importance of maintaining friendships alongside long-term relationships.

She said: “Valuing independence is important in a long-term marriage. Giving each other space and encouraging certain hobbies and interests goes a long way, and that also gives time for you to communicate with friends. As time progresses in a relationship, you know each other’s boundaries and don’t have to be joined at the hip. There is more freedom to do things for yourself, particularly as children leave home so as time progresses in some circumstances it can be easier to balance seeing all of the important people in your life. You have a completely different relationship to your partner and your friend, and both have attributes that are essential to get through life, finding a routine in home life will give you the time to be with and appreciate your friends.”

Readers can explore thortful’s range of Friendiversary cards on their website here.